An Analogy, or maybe I should call it a parable...

photo © 2010 Samuel M. Livingston | more info (via: Wylio)

An analogy of my day:

Me: There was a gas leak. We turned off the gas and opened the windows. It seems to have dissipated, but the leak hasn't been fixed.

Them: Are you sure it was a gas leak? It could have been a rotten egg. Many times that smell is only a rotten egg. How do you know it was a gas leak?

Me: Because when we turned the gas off, the odor dissipated.

Them: We think it was a rotten egg. Maybe we should call an expert.

Expert testifies. No eggs found.

Them: Well we want you to try this. Turn on the gas again, but only half way and then light a match. then we will know if it was a gas leak.

Me: (googling jobs with less stress, like air traffic controller)

Road trip....

Did the Tour of Travis County today. Fun to visit with foster families who are "doing it right." Kids are happy and safe. Foster families who care about the kids, helping some to get to college and helping others learn to manage hard feelings.

I could never do what they do. Not nearly as well.

So today...

Today, I had to tell a mother that I was cutting back her visits. She has some very real substance abuse issues and cannot possible get her children back in her home unless she gets clean and sober, and fast.

Her adult daughter came to me and though she said she wasn't begging for me to keep her mother's weekly visits, she was begging for me to keep her mother's weekly visits. She said that she was afraid her mother would "disappear" for five days again, which really means, go get high or drunk or some combination of both. She was fearful for her mother's life. She said that the visits made her mother happy and she didn't want that to stop. She said that if we took the visits away, her mother would stop trying. 

I tried to explain that we really couldn't do anything with mom until she got sober, but it wasn't sinking in. And just the sight of this daughter, as injured and hurt as she was from her mother's past, and how she herself was injured by her mother's lack of sobriety, and yet fighting for her mother, broke my heart. No matter what our parents do to us or not do for us, we are loyal to what we think they are capable of.  This young woman loved her mother. She may have loved her two year old half sister as well, but not enough to put her needs ahead of her mother's. 

And no matter how much I try to explain that I have to keep the 2 year old safe because she cannot protect herself, the older daughter didn't get it. And if I put myself in her shoes, I see her point. Because we all want our parents to be what we need, even if they are not even in the neighborhood.

So behind...

photo © 2010 Alexandra Richmond | more info (via: Wylio)


I am so behind on paperwork that I will be two months instead of one. I had a little time this weekend, but could not get my butt in the chair. But this morning I figured it out. I had "staffed" (that's the fancy department word for had a little meeting or chat about) these things so much that I don't really feel the need to write it all down.

But as if it's not documented, it didn't happen, sometime this week, I will need to prove the existence of both May and June.

Good times.

I just don't get it sometimes....

Today, I just don't understand.

We have a father with drug history and a history of letting others injure children in his care while he is present.

Living with someone who has a history of letting others injure children in her care, while she is present

AND someone who has been convicted of seriously injuring a child.

So yes, let's give them all unsupervised time with a developmentally disabled two year old.

I just don't get it.

Another one bites the dust....

So today, another of my coworkers announced she found new employment and would be gone in two weeks. And I'm glad for her. She has a great opportunity, and a new baby. While we joke around that we are "Neglecting our families, protecting yours," the sad fact is that we aren't really joking. The work of helping families is set up by our court system and by our State Legislature to in fact hurt the families of the helpers. Many of my coworkers are divorced or heading that way.

For now, it means that my case load goes from 2 times optimal to almost 3 times optimal. And that isn't good. We go into Firefighter mode. We put out fires. We try to keep current with standards. Bur really, we cannot be proactive, we cannot be available to people like we should, and we really can't do the job. My voice mail is filled by noon most days, and I cannot return most of the calls in a timely manner. I cannot mentally process all the email requests. And then there are "minimum standards" that I am supposed to be keeping up with. Can you say bare minimums?

All I can hope is that no one dies this month.

And since no one wants a job that sets one up to be incompetent, the exodus begins....

the question is, who is next?
(why yes, my resume is "out there.")

Can't make this stuff up...

Actually quotes....

Q So anyone with a CPS call on them can never be a foster parent?

A. No one with history. Believe it or not, there are tons of families without CPS history. It's NOT a right of passage.

Q Just because CPS has removed my children multiple times, it doesn't mean I'm a bad mom.

A. Actually, it does.

Wish I could have been the one to say it out loud.

And then you stitch them together...

High drama today....

Drunk mama fighting with drunk gramma at court.

A baby is born, and mamma has to decide whether to do a private adoption or the state will take custody.

And a teenager is thrilled to move back to her home town, for tonight anyway.

But I didn't quit today.